“It gets very lonely sometimes. No one talks to me anymore.” – Andy
As many of you know, my youngest sister died early this year of a drug overdose. Andy, short for Andrea, was my favorite family member.
She was quite skilled at telling you what she felt you wanted to hear. Andy was an enigma, always dodging those tough questions about her painful issues. So it came as a great surprise and a terrible shock when we all learned about Andy’s untimely death. No one saw it coming.
I have been coping with my sadness, as best as I can. I’ve signed up for grief counseling and have been frequenting a local Death Cafe. One of my greatest supports has come from a daily email called “On the Wings of Grief.” This week, an email suggested writing a letter to the deceased. The directive is to pour out everything- the sorrow, anger, good memories, and how life is going on without them in it.
Then, the focus shifts to writing the response from the your loved one. They get a voice, too. Put yourself in their shoes, and then, let them speak. The exchange is definitely healing.
I wrote my letters yesterday. The sentence at the top came through for Andy. Was this automatic writing? No. It just seemed like a fitting reality from beyond. Through the letters, I felt like we had a real conversation similar to those I feel when I write a letter to a dear friend. It’s like a psychic whisper.
With Halloween just around the corner, and All Saints’ and All Souls’ Days following in close succession, perhaps they are right to say that the veil-between-the-worlds is thin at this season. It feels like the perfect time to write, speak, and listen to those we have lost.
“More than kisses, letters mingle souls.” – John Donne, 16th century poet